Conversations With an Infertile

This blog post has been writing itself in my head for quite some time.  I keep meaning to sit down and let it all out, but life has been busy and at the end of the day...especially lately..all I have wanted to do is veg out in front of the TV...Don't judge.

*Before I go any further...Note: this post is not intended to offend anyone.  I am not talking to anyone specific.  If you are offended, I'm...Well, Get off my blog. There...If you get offended by anything in this post...Quit Reading!

For quite some time I have been truly amazed at how many people have the nerve/guts/lack of comon sense to say some of the things they say...especially to an infertile woman/couples. Here are some of my favorites...and my sometimes real/sometimes what I want to say responses:

Person: Do you have any kids?

Me: I have a stepson...

Person: Oh, how old is he?

Me: 7

Person: Just one? Do you think you guys will have anymore?

Me: No
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Person: Do you think you guys will have anymore?

Me: Yes
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Person: Do you think you guys will have anymore?

Me: I can't have kids.
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Person: Do you think you guys wil have anymore?

Me: Listen, we've been trying to have kids for over two years now.  We've taken fertility drugs, we've seen different doctors, we have suffered a tubal pregnancy...what else do you want to know you nosey bitch?

Seriously...if you don't know the person's situation you really shouldn't be asking if/when someone plans to get pregnant. It's like asking a single girl if she's been on any dates lately.  

Next...

Person: You know you can always adopt?

Me: Oh really?...I had no clue.
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Person: You know you can always adopt?

Me: Thanks for the advice.
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Person: You know you can always adopt?

Me: Do you not understand what a total and complete process adoption is?  It's not something that we haven't thought of, but I'll be sure to remember you're totally for it when we decide if it's right for us or not.

Gimme a break...really. This is not like switching from regular to diet.

Here are some of my most hated one liners...

* I just hated being pregnant. - Don't ever say that to an infertile.

* If I was pregnant right now I would die.

* Oh, I'm so tired...I wish my baby wouldn't wake up every two/three/etc hours at night.


The other day a lady said to me, "It would be awful if I was pregnant." I said to her, "Oh, that's so sad." She gave me the most puzzled look. 

I know in this day and age (wow, do I sound like an old lady or what?) it seems like there are so many groups of people who are so sensitive about something. But truthfully, does nobody think about what they are saying anymore?  It really doesn't matter who you are talking to...be careful what you say.  Think about what is coming out of your mouth before you say it. You never know what the person next to you is going through.

PS: I am by no means perfect about watching what I say to others...this is a work in progess for me too. But please be a little more sensitive to those others out there like me.

Blog Rules!

This blog…right now is a Public Blog. I don’t have a problem with a public blog, however please note: this is not a Public Forum. This is MY journey…not yours. Please do not:


1. Tell me that I can adopt.
2. Tell me that I would make a great foster parent.
3. Tell me about IVF, IUI, GIFT…

I know my options…Really I do. If I want your advice or want to know about your experience…I’ll read your blog.

I am at a place (in this journey) that it right for me and my family right now. When I am ready to move forward I will (with my family) make the best decision for us.

For some reason infertility is one of those topics that people just think they can give you advice about. For those of you not going through infertility…let me just tell you that giving fertility advice to someone…Especially saying things like “You can always adopt.” is kind of like saying to someone, “You know you could stand to lose a few pounds.”

Yes…Really. ..So quit doing it.

Everyone struggling with infertility knows about adoption…but that is not what we want. We want to make a baby TOGETHER that is OURS…part him and part me. I am not saying that adoption isn’t for me or isn’t creating a family or anything like that…It’s just not for me RIGHT NOW.

I could go on about each of the other scenarios, but that is not the point of this post. Really, everyone is welcome to read. I just ask that you respect this blog and understand that this is My journey, My feelings, My experience.

If you are struggling yourself with infertility, I would love to hear your story too. I have said before that infertility is lonely and I welcome anyone going through this same thing to get in touch with me (by email or post your blog link in a comment to me).

Thank you.