Progress Report...It's all part of our journey.

Well, Monday I called Dr. Synn's office to schedule my HSG and after that got scheduled they called me back and said that Dr. Synn wanted to have me in for an ultrasound.  I wasn't sure why, but I complied. 

Tuesday I went for the ultrasound (CD4).  The nurse that did the ultrasound was very nice.  I wasn't expecting anything to show up since I was only at cycle day 4.  A minute or two of whirling that wand around in there and she said, "Is your bladder full?" I said, "No." She said, "I have to go get the doctor." Dr. Synn came back with her and turned the monitor so that I could see it...I have a HUGE cyst on my right ovary...AGAIN.  This one is bigger than before.  It's about 4 inches tall by 6 inches wide.

Dr. Synn said that we would wait until I started my period next month and see if it was gone.  He said to go ahead with the HSG and seman analysis and he would se me back on the 19th for our follow-up appointment. 

That was it?!

I called Lou as soon as I walked out of the office and told him about the cyst.  That night I was in a lot of pain from all the poking around in there. The cyst is right against my bladder when it is full and causes quite a bit of pain. Lou and I talked a lot about everything and he said that he did not want to worry about all the fertility stuff if I had these cysts coming and going.  He wanted me to make sure I was healthy first. 

I felt sad about that, but kind of knew he was right.  That night I went to bed at 10:30 and woke up at 1:00 with my sick dog.  I was in a lot of pain too and so we moved out to the couch to let Lou sleep.  I spent a lot of the night awake with Simon...he had a really bad allergic reaction to something, but during that time I thought about what to do with this cyst.  I was in quite a bit of pain and had been for some time. 

I have had the pain now for about two weeks and sometime last week I remember saying to Lou that I thought I had another cyst.  He asked if I was serious and I said no.  I didn't want to believe it was back or another one had come.  I kept trying to tell myself that the pain was probably from something else...like my bed (being so hard) or maybe I had a pinched nerve.

Anyway, sometime between 1:00am and 5:00am I decided that Lou was right.  I wanted to go back to Dr. Swanson and let him treat the cyst.  I wanted to put off seeing Dr. Synn for now...we knew his approach and at this point I wasn't sure that we were 100% ready to say YES to IVF. Of course I want to be a mother and I want to have a baby, but I kind of felt like Dr. Synn was moving really really fast and I wasn't sure that we were "there" yet.

Wednesday I went to work after having almost no sleep the night before.  I felt miserable, but really needed to be there.  We got Simon squared away...He got some Benydril and a Cortizone shot...he's fine now. 

I called Dr. Swanson's office and went straight for the appointment desk. I didn't want to bother talking to the nurse over the phone.  I couldn't believe that I actually got an appointment that day at 4:00.  I toughed it out all day and went to my appointment at 4:00. I got called back right away and soon enough I was naked from the waist down and on the table for another ultrasound.  Dr. Swanson came in right as Barbara was doing the ultrasound and they found my cyst.  He actually drew it out for me on a piece of paper.  I wish I had a picture so I could post it...It is HUGE.

He said that if I waited to treat it (like Dr. Synn wanted me to do) it could potentially double in size (that it could be the size of a football in a month)....Can you even imagine?

 I was in Dr. Swanson's office 3 weeks ago for a scan and there was NOTHING there...In 3 weeks this cyst grew.  He went to get a box of birth control and came right back in.  He said to start it immediately.  He gave pain medication too and told me that he wanted to see me back on the 19th.  He wanted to see me back the first week of November too.  If this cyst didn't shrink we needed to make a decision about what to do.  I asked him if we could just take out the ovary and he said, "I am not going to make that decision today, but we can certainly talk about that option."

I don't want to jump to any conclusions or get ahead of myself here, but if he ends up taking the ovary on the right side and leaves my left side alone I am kind of hoping he will just stimulate the left side and voila! maybe we can get pregnant without IVF. 

I am no doctor and I certainly don't know if it will be that easy, but it became clear to me that we needed to re-evaluate our priorities.  Getting rid of this/these cysts was first on our list.  On my way home I cancelled my appointment for the HSG test and cancelled my follow-up appointment with Dr. Synn on the 19th. I wasn't going to keep spending fertility money (our insurance has a cap) before we needed to. 

I took some pain medication and got a good nights sleep last night. I started the birth control right away and actually felt good today. 

It is frustrating to have this cyst, but at the same time I feel like this is all part of a bigger plan...as painful as it is, there is a reason for it.  I have always been a firm believer in...Everything happens for a reason. And...Timing is Everything.