My Therapy Couch

My fertility journey is getting too big to keep contained in my head. If I didn't start this blog I was going to end up on that couch in a therapist's office somewhere. I'm not necessarily in a bad space, but all this fertility stuff is filling my head 24/7…and I need an outlet. I don't care if anyone reads any of this or follows this blog at all…this is my journey and I am going to document it here.

My husband and I started trying to conceive last July (2008). I didn't know then that over a year later I would still be "trying." I have kept most of this journey private…of course my family knows what's going on, but I have kept it from our blog and a lot of our friends. Over the last few months I have found myself saying, "When this baby finally gets here I am going to make sure he/she knows just how much we went through to get him/her here." Because this journey is getting longer as each days passes, I have decided to write it down…document it. And in this time of great technology, where better than the World Wide Web? Right?

I found myself lying awake in bed last night thinking about my doctor's appointment (earlier that day). Lou had gone to sleep next to me and my mind was going over things the doctor had said and has said in the past and what I was feeling about all of this. Infertility is a lonely journey (more on that later), and as I lied there and talked to myself (in my head…not out loud) I felt like I was in therapy...talking out my feelings about this journey, and how I got here. This blog was born…here it is…My therapy couch.

In session.